Feeling?

Pag medyo natanga 'ko ng kaunti....

Pag nakita 'ko yung crush ko na nag-smile:

Kapag may feelingerang pumapapel.: 

Pag naiisip ang crush bago matulog:

Pag ayaw kong maniwala sa sinasabi ng mga kaibigan ko. hahaha :D 

Pag tinitigann ni crush:

Nung kinawayan ako ng crush ko: 

Itsura ko hanggang pag.uwi. haha :D

E may gelpren pala si crush :

Crush: Paghanga

Masyadong nakakahayskul ang topic ko ngayon. Beware ^_________^
Crush.  Big word. Let's talk about Crush. Hehehe.
Ano nga ba ang salitang crush? 
- Sa pagkakaalam ko kasi ang crush eh paghanga. Hanggang ngayon pinaniniwalaan ko pa rin yang Crush is Paghanga na 'yan. Haha. Infatuation maybe. Ito kasi yung madalas na napapagkamalan ng tao na pagmamahal especially yung mga Teenagers at Feeling-teenagers.
Hindi naman masama ang pagkakaroon ng crush eh. Kaya nga di ba minsan may mga magulang na nagsasabi na okay lang na magcrush-crush ka pero wag kang magpapaligaw? Madalas naririnig ko 'to sa mga nanay na may anak na highschool student eh. Kahit nung high school ako naririnig ko lagi sa nanay ko yan eh. Minsan nga kapag nakakasalubong mo yung dating crush mo naaalala mo pa yung mga panahong nagkukulay kamatis ka na lalo na kapag panay ang tukso ng mga kaklase mo sa inyo.
Minsan ang awkward lalo na kapag nagkatapat kayo sa pila sa flag ceremony, Mas lalo kapag magkatabi kayo sa upuan. At mas lalong awkward pag alam ng buong klase niyo na may gusto ka sa kanya. Nangyari na sa kin yun noong hayskul pa 'ko. At yun ang pinaka nakakahiyang nangyari sa buhay ko.

Kadalasan nagkakacrush tayo sa mga tao na may pisikal na attraction. Yung talaga namang may likas na kagwapuhan.. Yung mga lamang ng ilang ligo sa normal nating kaklase. Meron din naman sa mga sobrang pagandang babae. Kilala dahil maganda, dahil matalino.. Beauty and brains. Minsan akong nainggit sa mga kakilala ko na ganyan eh. Nasabi ko pa nga sa sarili ko "Bakit sila ang gaganda, Ba't ako hindi., Naaaaaaaaaaay! Bakkeeeeeeeet!!".


Eto bago tayo tumuloy sa sumusunod na paksa magbabahagi lang ako ng buhay crush ko noong nag-aaral pa lang ako.
Noong hayskul ako may isang taong nakakuha ng atensyon ko, Si Cristian. Simple lang siya, hindi siya masyadong pansinin, matalino pero tahimik. Mula nung 1st year highschool ako hanggang matapos akong makagraduate ng hayskul gustong gusto ko talaga siya. Naisip ko pa nga noon mahal ko na siguro 'tong tao na 'to. DUH! di kayo close pero mahal mo?
Ewan ko pero naisip ko lang talaga 'yon. Ang weird nga  kasi tuwing Balentayms day gumagawa ako ng love letter para sa kanya. Take note. Taun- taon ko siya ginagawan non, Pero anong nangyari? Nga-nga? Siguro hindi niya talaga ako gusto. Hehe. Nakakahiya nga noon kasi karamihan sa batch namin alam na crush ko siya. Yung tipong hindi ko siya malalapitan talaga dahil pag ginawa ko yun eh kakantiyawan lang kami. Kaya 'yon.  Isang beses may nakita akong nagkakalat na bag sa hagdanan ng building namin. Hindi ko alam kung sino may-ari. pero nung tinignan ko yung notebuk.....HINDI SIYAAAA! kaklase niya. At dahil mabait pa ako nung panahon na 'yon, nagbalak akong isauli yun sa klase nila at dahil kabisado ko schedule nila alam ko kung saan sila makikita. :) masyado akong genius noon. hehe.  At ayun, nandun sila sa stage. Nagkaklase, pinauna ko yung kaklase ko na kausapin yung titser kasi alam ko na yung mga mangyayari nun. Kaya lang ang nangyari naiwan sa'kin yung bag ng may-ari at wala na nga akong nagawa kundi ang lumapit. Naglalakad pa lang ako papalapit naghihiyawan na yung mga kaklase niya, kaya ginawa ko hindi ko talaga sila tinignan.  Sobrang nakakahiya, pero sa kabilang banda, masaya kasi kahit pano nakatulong na 'ko nakita ko pa siya. 
Sa loob ng apat na taon na nagkagusto ako sa kanya, hindi ko man lang naramdaman na gusto rin niya 'ko. Ewan ko , siguro pangit ako talaga noong panahon na 'yon. hahaha! Pero ang mahalaga doon ginawa ko siyang inspirasyon para magsipag sa pag-aaral. Sinabi ko pa noon "Kung di niya ko gusto edi wag." Crush mo lang siya at hindi na kailangan sabihin mo na sana crush ka din niya, Kahit nag-expect ako noon. 

Hindi naman kasi porket gusto mo na ang isang tao mahal mo na. Tandaan mga kapatid, iba ang CRUSH sa PAGMAMAHAL. marami akong nababasa kung saan may mga taong napapagkamalan ang crush na love. Crushin ko kaya utak mo tas hulog ko sa butas ng Lovabo? Labo mo 'dre eh!
Para sa'kin ang salitang crush, Yun yung tipo na may magugustuhan kang bagay sa isang tao, (e.g.) Ang ganda ng mata niya, ang tangos ng ilong niya, Ang ganda ng ngiti niya kapag nagtoothbrush....etc..
Ang Crush kasi mga kapatid simpleng paghanga lang yan sa isang tao kung saan nakakita ka ng kaaya-aya sa kanya. Kaya maraming magboypren/gerlpren ang naghihiwalay ngayon eh. Isang buwan pa lang magkarelasyon naghiwalay na. Eh pano ba naman sila mismo hindi sigurado sa mga nararamdaman nila.. Lalo na yang mga teenager. (Hindi po ako galit sa teenager).


Ang pagkakacrush kasi mga kapatid may limitasyon din. Hindi ko alam kung paano niyo ba tinatrato yung crush ninyo as crush. Kasi may mga iba na akala nila mahal na nila yung crush nila. Kaya umuuwi silang luhaan, talo, waley, nganga.

Pero para sakin, sige magpakabaliw ka kay crush. Pero kapag wala na siya sa paningin ko wala na rin yung feeling ko. Hehehe!

Bakit nga ba tayo nagkakacrush?

Marami. Napakaraming dahilan. Alam ko naman  na alam ninyo ang sagot dyan eh :)

Eh pano mo nga ba sasabihin kay crush na crush mo siya?

Kanya- kanyang diskarte mga pare. May mga iba na diretso, straight to the point.

(e.g.)
Boy: Alam mo crush kita.
Girl: Ah ok.. ( awkward silence)
...

Minsan kasi mga bro dapat alam din natin yung salitang timing. Kasi para naman mas makapag handa ng sasabihin yung crush mo. haha !


(Next)

Boy: Yieee oy, yung crush mo oh, kinikilig na yan!
Girl: Letse!!
....
May mga lalaking ganyan ang ugali.  Yung ang hilig itulak yung gusto nila sa taong ikaw naman ang gusto haha. Nakakaimbyerna lang kasi nangyari na sa akin yang ganyan eh. Mapipikon ka lang talaga kapag pinansin mo.


(Next) 

Boy: Ganda mo idol! Crush kita! Joke! hahaha :D
Girl: Ewan ko sa'yo labo mo!

Eto naman yung mga medyo natotorpe kasi baka hindi sila type ng crush nila.. Pero yung mga babae deep inside kilig na kilig yan lalo na pag crush nila ang nagsabi.

Paano nga ba mapansin ni crush?
Hindi ko sigurado kung mapapansin ka nga ng crush mo dito pero ganito ginawa ko:

The best greetings. Lagi mo babatiin si crush mo, kahit minsan di ka nya pinapansin kasi darating at darating yung time na papansinin ka niya. hahaha.

The suplada/suplado effect. Sabi kasi ng nanay ko kapag nagsusuplada ka raw o nagsusuplado mas nagkakaron ng chance na macurious sa'yo ang isang tao. Kung sa bagay tama nga naman. Kasi isang beses kinausap ako ng crush ko, alam niyo ba ang sabi niya. Nakakatakot daw ako kausapin kasi baka daw kapag kinausap ako sungitan ko lang. hahaha ! Advantage yun mga kaibigan. Ibig sabihin gusto ka niyang kausapin kaya lang natatakot siya. haha :)

Impress him/her. Ipakita mo sa kanya kung san ka magaling. Malay mo dun siya ma-attract at hindi sa'yo. haha.


Asar.  Eto yung ginagamit ng karamihan ngayon eh, ang lalakas mang-asar. Bakit? Syempre sino ba naman may gustong inaasar siya wala diba. kaya 'yon kapag nang-aasar ang isang tao, wala naman magagawa 'tong nagugustuhan kundi pansinin.


Pero sa totoo lang di mo naman talaga kailangan ng ganitong bagay eh.
maging totoo ka lang sa sarili mo, Be the best of yourself. Tatanggapin ka ng taong gusto mo at mapapansin ka niya kahit hindi ka magpapansin. Be confident and trust yourself. K.?




Yung feeling na nginitian ka ng crush mo: 

KILIG LEVEL: 100000000000000000000X!

It's not the goodbyes that hurts..., it's the flashback that follows.

Sometimes before i go to sleep.
I always think thousands of times..


Things like..
What ifs..
i guess i got all of the what if's in the world..

Then suddenly, i caught my self crying..
crying without tears..

Don't even know why... so weird!


Ever noticed that i've been like this for so long..
Like.. why so crazy??
what happened to yourself! Look.. hahaha ! :)

But still i chose to smile..
Why??


Smiling is a whole lot easier than to explain everything. :))

That moment..

Rain falls down..

^___________^

my life is...

I don't know what to do..

i don't know where to go..

It's like the whole earth tempts me to do everything..

Which is not right..

Everything on this earth is not right..

.

.

.

.

.

.

 I wish i could go back to who am i before...

I love you :)

Happy birthday honey :))

I always tell this to everyone I know when they struggle hard.
This has been what keeps me going..
When i started to realize the beauty of it.

~~~

I wish i could be in paradise where there is peace..

Where i could spent eternity..

With no problems at all.

I'm really scared to taste happiness, and then to see it disappear, as soon as it appeared.

It feels like a thousand of exclamation point in my heart..



and one, one big question mark..
Constantly,
Constantly,
Constantly,


In my  mind.



Can you imagine someone who figures out why you're so guarded?

Can you imagine finding someone..
who stays??

No matter what you put them through
They always remain in the front porch
waiting for you..


The line never goes out.
Your outline always remain in the bedsheet.


They never fill your draw in their wardrobe..
They become a part of you..


and you become a part of them..


so much so that they were to ever go missing..
it would feel like you went missing too.

i'm afraid..

Those minutes, when i'm alone..
just me and my guitar..
I think a lot.. a lot of things came out my mind..
I think about anything and everything..

My whole life i've been telling myself..
"Don't be afraid.."

And it is only now..
That i'm realizing how stupid that is..
Don't be afraid..
Like saying..
"don't move out of the way.. when someone tries to punch you.
or "Don't flinch at the heat of the fire.."
or "don't blink" or "don't be human."

But the truth is, I am afraid..
i am afraid of everything..
i feel like i wanna run ..
i want to runaway from them and come toward the biggest feet in the world and hug them
tightly and not to let go of them :'(

yes..

Things break all the time..
glass.. and dishes.. and fingernails...
cars and Contract... Potato chips :P
You can break a record, a horse..
a dollar.. also you can break the ice..

There are coffee breaks and lunch breaks and prison breaks..
Days breaks, waves break.. voice breaks..
Chains can be broken..
So can silence and fever...
Promises break.
Heart break.

Continue..

..Yeah, I don't know, I guess i've learned  a lot this year...
But i think i'm still in a "work in progress".
I'm far from there.. but at least  I'm on my way..

Good morning :)

:) i just saw this picture on facebook earlier  and i just
 wanna share it with you because i've been like this until now :)
I just don't know where to go..
I just want to cry, again? ? hahaha!
but somehow i need to be happy ..

Wait until it's time.

You know guise, Lots of things came to my mind today..
and i think i can't take even one step to do it all ..



*sigh* i'm so tired of waiting ..
So tired of waiting and waiting and waiting..
You know..
I need someone.., I really need someone to talk to..
I need someone to comfort me, to rely on to someone..

I need someone to tell everything..

Best relationship ever ~~

Is when you two act like lovers and bestfriends..

It's when you have more playful moments than serious moments.
It's when you can joke around.
Let each other have piggybacks :)
have an unexpected hugs and random kisses.
It's when you two give each other that specific stare and just smile ^_____^

It's when you'd rather chill inside to watch movies, eat junk food
and cuddle than to go out all the time..
It's when you stay up all night, just to settle your arguments and problems.
It's when you can act yourself completely and they can still love you for who you are..

Every girl...~~

Every girl needs a man. You know, the kind that'll treat you right.
The kind that has enough respect for you and is willing to change, just to be with you..
The kind that searches for you with all his heart and that can be trusted  in a room full of beautiful girls.  
Every girl needs a man who won't cheat on her because he knows She's got all that he wants and he needs already. 
He won't mind calling you early in the morning just to say good morning or late at night just to say goodnight; maybe even sing you a good morning song or tell you a bedtime story, or talk to you until you fall asleep. 
This guy will be the kind  that'll do anything for you, even if it's just to go to the store and buy you favorite foods or candies. 
He would defend or fight for you and wouldn't bail on you for his friends when you need him most. 
The kind that won't leave you lonely and wondering; the one that calls you surprisingly.. 
Even if he's out with his friend, just to tell you He loves you and misses you a lot.
The one that is not afraid to smile to his friends everytime  you're around and tell 'em "She's the one".
The kind that appreciates you for the things you do for him even if they're little.
The ones that actually thank you for the little love notes you leave him.
waits for you when you're falling behind and opens door for you.

Every girl needs a man who will take you out on a date once in a while and buy you flowers just because it's a Wednesday. 
The kind of guy that notices your hair when you just got it cut or done beautifully for him.
He would remind you that He loves you and that he's happy just being with you..

just in case you forget :D


The kind of guy that just doesn't want kisses and hugs, but to actually be loved and to love..
You need a guy that will call you beautiful instead of hot,

Tells you to be strong and not to cry..
and when you do cry, He'd cry with you when times are hard.

The kind that will go through thick and thin for you..
the kind that just loves you.. for who you are and not for who you are not..
and loves you because you're his favorite girl in the whole wide world.

(poeticheartache:)

(MV- She's the one by Robbie Williams)

I cried in pain II

really , i don't know why i got this kind of dream..
No, it's not a dream, it's a nightmare..
and it's getting bad day by day.

Those teary eyes each and every night..
I don't know what's the reason behind these..
I can't stand it..

After all t'was just a dream,

But I have nothing to do but cry..

Cry and cry..

Seeing someone in your dream..
Seeing yourself in that dream..
Seeing yourself as a nonsense person..
seeing yourself thrown by your loved one in reality..
It's really hard..

I woke up 2:am realizing He's just beside me..

Sleeping tightly..

But then again i can't help but cry..

i still remember those dreams..

Wishing that it would not happen in reality..
I pray ...That it will not happen..

It will not, it would not..

I don't want to cry like that..

I thought it was just a dream,

But when i woke up..

Why do i have these tears in my eyes?

alam mo..

Mapagpatawad akong tao, mapagpasensya..
mapagmahal..
pero sa tingin ko ..
hindi ko na kaya yon ngayon..